Hi again.. It has been more month I guess since my last post about Kimi Raikkonen. Never been better. It’s 19 July. It’s my sister, Eliza’s birthday. Happy 13th birthday darling. May God bless you always and be healthy. Hopefully you are doing good at school. I may gonna call home tonight. My brother and sisters will be back from boarding school today.
It’s not just her birth date, but it’s Grandma’s 3rd year anniversary since she left us. We never celebrate her birthdays since then. Poor girl. It is not her to blame, but we are too grieving even to think about it. Sorry girl.. The wound too deep to heal.
I am sorry Grandma, but I never prepared to lose you. My memories full of you by my side. You raise me, cooked and fed me, bathed me, and you even sung for me to sleep. How can I forget you when my childhood surrounded by you. How can I ever stop thinking or reminisce about you when you are the one who ever pampered us till we’re grown up. How I wish I never left you in the first place so I will stay with you much longer. I know I do sound greed and I can’t change everything. At least I have much more time with her than my younger brothers and sisters. I’m just being greedy.
And the person who love her the most is Mom and Grandpa. Mom is their only child they had before adopting another two son. But they hid it well. How can I say, she took care of us with love. I wasn’t by her side when she left us. She left me after four days I turned 19. But I was there a fortnight before. I accompanied her in the hospital although I had a high fever right after I got back from the hospital. Gosh, I really missed her. I miss to listen to her sing songs for me, recite folklores, and I even miss holding her hand. I miss to hear her lecture, her advices, her smile. I miss kissing her cheek, I miss everything about her. God, I wish I could turn back time. I wanna be with her. Always.
Grandma, I know you heard me up there. And I know that you will always love us just the way you always did. And I am sorry if I ever done anything wrong. I am really, really sorry. I will never forget what you have said and I will keep it with me, always. Deep, bottom of my heart, you will always, always alive in my heart. Forget us not, our beloved Nightingale.. I always pray that you will always stay in our heart.
Rest in peace, Nightingale.. God bless your soul.
KALI TERAKHIR KU LIHAT WAJAHMU – UJI RASHID
Dalam dakapan senja
Ku renungi sinar matamu
Berat rasa melepaskan
Dikau pergi
Dingin hembusan bayu
Lemah longlai langkah kakimu
Lambaianmu kian jauh
Dari mata
Malangnya
Bencana menimpa
Kau telah pergi untuk selamanya
Tak kembali
Pada saat terakhir
Ku melihat paras wajahmu
Kau bisikkan hanya sayang
Kepadaku
Malangnya
Bencana menimpa
Kau telah pergi untuk selamanya
Tak kembali
Pada saat terakhir
Ku melihat paras wajahmu
Kau bisikkan hanya sayang
Kepadaku