What’s on your mind?

Howdy, peeps..

Tonight its kinda breezy and cold (its due to the raining weather) and a quiet night. I love peace and sometimes I do enjoy riots. But not tonight, please..

Actually I am about to study for my test this morning but I can’t take it no more so I decided to write a little, spend a little of time with WordPress and stuff.

Tonight I willing to share a bit of my biggest-dream-ever , that I wish it will come true. My deepest inquisition of all time right after I converted my faith to Islam. Though I may not be a good Muslim, but I always had this kind of intention of becoming a good Muslimah, faithful to my  beloved religion and the Messenger, Prophet Muhammad Sallallahu ‘alaihi wasalam, and be true to the only God, Allah Subhanahu wa Taala. 

I have a small talk with one of a muslimah  that I’ve known for several years she is the wife of someone-who-I-adore-the-most-and-respect, and I fond of her because she really inspire me to become a better muslimah myself. I had a chat with my friend in Facebook and we are discussing about his studying in  a religious school. He is currently studying Iqra and he is moving to level 4 now. He told me had a peace of mind there after a few month and so, and he even spend a lot of time with his mother before he continue his degree. I am so glad that he could managed to go to the school as I planned to go right after diploma but I have to move it until I finished my degree in TESL. I think I could spend more after degree, and I’m planning to study somewhere in Kelantan or Kedah, in a old,custom madrasah school where they teaches religious study. I really want to prepare myself with tauhid, feqah, and sirah of Rasullallah Sallahu ‘alaihi wasalam. 

I think it is time for me to catch up with everything that I had started. Looking back on my past life, I don’t think I enjoy so much as I learnt so many thing as I grew up. I turn 21 now and I suppose to act, or behave as a legit muslim, as what I oath Islam as my religion now.

I still remember when I was a kid, I used to learn so much about Islam and what makes me believe it is true religion, Islam teaches a lot — from how to behave as a good muslim, to what I should wear or even how I should dress up in front of ajnabi (opposite gender) and muhrim, and even cover a lot of thing which is based on a sharia. For me Islam is about discipline. It teaches its ummah equally. Islam does not oppress the people of lower classes and did not glorify the nobility. Islam never differentiates Muslims and Muslims claim also taught us to be fair and impartial in conducting worship. Islam is a way of life.

When I was a child, my ustaz used to tell us sirah before we off to sleep. Just like a parent who read a story books to their kids before they go to sleep. Sirah of Prophet Muhammad and His companions. Our heroes. Subhanallah, I really missed those moment. Always we kept it in mind, ‘O Allah, give our greetings to Your Love Muhammad, and his companions. Indeed, we miss at thy’. Now, it seems too far away as I am no longer heard the stories, and never perform prayers for Him, but always takes it for granted. O Allah, forgive all my mistakes..  I never meant to but I was too carried away by the urban lives and enjoyed too much fun. But deep in my inquisitions, I miss those moment — I used to pray together with all of the muallaf, recited Holy Quran together, perform tarawih and did a lot of things together as a Muslim. Now, as I enter college life, everything I did, I never put my Faith as the first choice. Seldom I think about Islam as the way of life. Astaghfirullah.. Forgive me Allah.. Everything I did was driven by passion. Istighfar.. Astaghfirullah al’azim.. Forgive me Allah..

The way a woman should wear.

I want to cover myself with an appropriate clothes, instead of wrapping my body. I want to be a better Muslimah.  I don’t want to burden people around me, especially people who have legit right on me, with my sins. And I don’t either people look at me as I have no dignity. I have my right to be taken care of, and to be protected. I don’t want to bring sin for those who look at me, wearing thin or inappropriate garment. I want to be a daughter, who is an obedient daughter to her parents, a caring sister to her siblings, a wife who pleased her husband, and an obedient servant to his Creator..

Everything I wanted I dedicate to Allah, the Only God of the Universe, the Creator and the Al-Mighty, the One who desires everything he want. May Allah grant me with all my wishes. My Only God, I have asked for too much. Nothing else matter, if its only for You.

Forgive me Ya Allah..

My prostrations just to You.

The Prayer.

I wish to be a better muslimah..

muwassafat tarbiyah

..and be a better Muslimah, Insha Allah..

I know the first step is the hardest but I will make it happen. Doesn’t matter if it takes time or not but I will figure it out sooner or later. All I wish is may Allah bless me all my efforts, and du’as from others too.. Insha Allah, this is what I wanted, and this is the way of life I have been dreaming of.

I am not asking for a highest place in Heaven, no, but all I wish is to be one who are kept her promises, and to be what I really wanted to be — a better Muslimah, Insha Allah.. 

 

My life, my Faith are all for You, o Allah..
Grant me with You strength to make it through, and to make it happen.
My soul, my belief are Yours to take.
Hidup matiku hanya untuk-Mu Ya Allah..


With love,
Idawaty Rosili
Selangor First State University, Bestari Jaya Campus

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13 thoughts on “What’s on your mind?

  1. eva626 says:

    Assalamalakum sister…this was a very nice post and very inspirting. JasakAllahFardos!!!

    Please pray for me too, so I can also be in tune with Islam and avoid all types of Fitna.

    • Waalaikumsalam eva626..

      thank you for reading..Insha Allah, I do keep you in my du’a…
      But don’t forget to pray.. Insha Allah, He always listen to you.
      Do you enjoy reading inspirational post? I knew someone who you can refer to,especially about Islam. She is the one I mention above. 🙂
      I hope you can find what you are looking for.
      Together me make it happen someday, Insha Allah..Jazakillahu khoir..

  2. regional says:

    possible
    Really nice style and superb written content , very little else we require : D.

  3. […] What’s on your mind? (idawatyrosili.wordpress.com) Share this:FacebookLinkedInTwitterLike this:LikeOne blogger likes this post. […]

  4. You really make it seem so easy with your presentation but I find this topic to be really something that I think I would never understand. It seems too complex and extremely broad for me. I’m looking forward for your next post, I will try to get the hang of it!

    • Well, thank you for spending your time reading this piece of nothing. I really appreciate it..
      I know it’s kinda hard to understand this it, my apologise. It is just a few things on my mind that I really wanted to share and write but I am a kinda person who are unable to express things that shackle my mind and share feelings with others. But I was trying to improve myself with the hope that it will benefit others by trying to convey something slowly and hope by this way I can overcome my own weaknesses.. 🙂

  5. Ed Gellis says:

    Thank you for the sensible critique. Me and my cousin were just preparing to do a little research about this. We got a book from our local library but I think I learned better from this post. I’m very glad to see such excellent info being shared freely out there..

    • Thanks for spending time reading this crap and commenting.. I appreciate it.
      I hope you will find what you and your cousin looking for. Well, this is a few things I have in my mind and frankly speaking I do have troubles to let it all out, who knows it might going to hurts some others feeling or vice versa. So its kinda challenging for me. And its not always easy.. 🙂

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