Howdy everyone. Yep, that’s my title. I know I have been missing for quite long, but I have a very good explanation for that. For the past few month back after new new year, new semester has begun right. Well, at the earlier I still managed to write a few but not after at the beginning of January. My class was a total hectic. My time table however, it is not that really packed as I though, but still I couldn’t fine a suitable time to write. Lecturer has gives us a pile of workload for the whole semester at the beginning of the semester (as you know how lecturer loves to burden us, even for a good course *wink*). Wow! That is just so unforgivable (actually it’s for the deed). But I don’t care. Now I don’t have spare time with my friends a lot like I used to in the beginning of the semester, my only time I have is when I need to sleep during hours before the class started (okay I lied, I sleep a lot ). Sigh.
I want my life back.
Okay that is so dramatic. There is certain things I want to keep it that way and there are reasons why I just this kinda like this new style of life, it is because..
#1. I make a lot of new friends after I attended a camp in Lipis (check out my previous post),
#2. I am able to spend a little of time with my room-mate a.k.a my best-friend, Intan Suraya Masron,
#3. I am able to make my own decision (I hate people telling what to do) seldom by my own willing,
#4. I know myself more than what people know about me. So my life, shouldn’t be bothered by them,
#5. I can be with myself more than before. I wear what I like to wear, behave how I want to, and pray a lot without ever being feel distraction. Alhamdulillah, I can concentrate more here than ever, Subhan’Allah walhamdulillah.. Praise to Allah..
What else? I think I love my new life compared to before. Even there is a slightest regrets and disappointment but I think I should live my life as I want it. It’s for my own good, as well as for others. Too much pressure but I think I can handle it. Now what I really wish, that I could pass for my practicum this year, and not next year. My bad, I admit, that I didn’t do really, really well on finals. I just too much pressure in deed. Allah, to Him I truly trust. I have been too carried away by the qada and qadr, until I forget that He tests His men to worship and to obey His command. I was too carried away, sleeping not knowing that I just been tested. Astaghfirullah…
I have started a few steps ahead to make it happen. Now I tried to perform prayer as often as I could. Let say if I can’t find places to perform a prayer, I can use public musolla so I won’t have reason why I skip my prayer. I promise I keep it in mind always, as I know the first step is the harder. But I know I can make it someday. I am so envy with her, who inspire me a lot to become a better muslim. May Allah grant my biggest wish, to be with and to placed Him in the highest place among the highest.
Thinking about it make me really small in front of Him. So much thing I regret in life, and there is no way I can do it again. I want to be a better person. One step closer, and I can be Prophet Muhammad‘s ummah, for Him I could, Insha Allah..
Wakamaru wakamarallah.. Allahumma ameen..
p/s: Jaga niat, jaga solat, jaga amanah Allah. I can do it! Ganvatte!!
Love and peace,
University Selangor, Bestari Jaya
Selangor Darul Ehsan.